Spiraling Through

Being in spiritual practice is similar to traveling along an upward moving spiral, loosening our self from the beliefs of who we are and moving towards acceptance of what we are. Around and around we go, in gradually decreasing sweeps; re-visiting the same resistance to releasing, the same challenges of stances, and the letting go the endless beliefs coming from the 'I-know' mind. It has become a constant practice of choosing, a constant focus on intent, a constant confront with the narrowness of the pathway.

Within this internal spiral pathway, we focus on the potency of peace and love and joy over any other consciousness state. The quality of those states makes the choice for a spiritual life the only 'path'. We are in the world, but are less and less attached to it. We cannot do so without Divine Assistance.

Surrendering is the intention of spiritual life. It provides the potential, the space for that which we seek to unfold. Each movement along the spiral path is predicated on our willingness to set the potential, to let go the particular and focus on the field of energy in which it resides.

Exercise Seventeen

June 1st, 2006

Releasing fear of death - Erasing the Body

The context of Exercise One was that of losing the fear of dying. We move along the spiral and continue with this intent. The following is an exercise which helps re-contextualize the body and its 'death'.

Without the body, would we fear death?

EXERCISE

Bring your awareness fully to the body. Begin by carrying out a tactile tracing of your body, part by part. Be sure to focus on and feel the part being described as clearly as possible. Concentrate on the sensation you experience.
Bring your attention to and feel the feet, the ankles, lower legs, knees, upper legs, hip joints, pelvic area, lower trunk, upper trunk, hands, wrists, lower arms, elbows, upper arms, shoulder joints, shoulders, the whole neck, jaw and lower head area, cheeks and eyes which is mid-brain and head area, and finally the forehead which is the upper and top of the head area. Maintain your focus on the body, and once again begin at the feet. This time, take an imaginary chalk board eraser or liquid white-out and erase the feet. Envisage them gone. Bring your awareness to the whole of the body now, but without feet.
Move your attention to your ankles and in your mind use your eraser and rub them out. At the same time, hold in mind, in awareness, the rest of the body. I am not my feet and ankles because I still feel the 'me' the 'awareness of 'Am-ness' without them.
Erase lower legs. At the same time, hold in mind, in awareness, the rest of the body I am not my legs because I still can feel the 'me', the 'awareness of 'Am-ness'.
Erase the knees. At the same time, hold in mind, in awareness, the rest of the body I am not the knees because I still can feel the 'me', the 'awareness of 'Am-ness'.
Erase the upper legs. At the same time, hold in mind, in awareness, the rest of the body I am not my legs because I still can feel the 'me', the 'awareness of 'Am-ness'.
Erase the hip joints. At the same time, hold in mind, in awareness, the rest of the body. That which I think I am is not in the hip joint because I still can feel that 'me', that 'Am-ness' without them.
Erase the pelvic area. At the same time, hold in mind, in awareness, the rest of the body. That which I think I am is not in the hip joint because I still can feel that 'me', that 'Am-ness' without them.
Erase the lower trunk, and notice from your waist down, you are erased. Take a deep calm breath. Be at peace. That which you think you are is not the lower trunk and legs because you still feel that 'me', that 'Am-ness' without them.
Erase the upper trunk. At the same time, hold in mind that which is left of the body. That which you think you are is not in the lower body. You still can feel that 'you', that 'Am-ness' without them.
Erase the hands. Erase the wrists. Erase the lower arms. Erase the elbows. And then erase the upper arms. At the same time, hold in mind that which is left of the body. That which you think you are is not in the hands and arms. You still can feel the 'Am-ness' without them.
Erase the shoulder joints. Erase the shoulders, while holding in mind that which is left of the body. That which you think you are is not in the shoulders or shoulder joints. You still can feel that 'you', that 'Am-ness' without them.
Erase the whole neck, back and front. You have now only your head left yet you can still feel that 'you' that 'Am-ness'.
Erase jaw and lower head area, be very precise and remove that slice of your head area. Can you still feel that 'Am-ness?' Yes! Notice that your sense of 'me' is very much intact.
Erase cheeks and eyes including the mid-brain and mid-head area. That which you think you are is not in the cheeks or eyes. Notice that you can easily feel the 'you', the 'Am-ness' you believe yourself to be. Notice how that 'you' feels very intact, even with this tiny bit of 'body space'.
Now erase the forehead area, which includes the upper and back of the head/brain area. Be calm. Let yourself do this, erase this last awareness of the body. You can still feel you, and yet you have not body in which you live, you have erased it!
What are 'you' now? "…I am what remains, a pure center of awareness, an unmoved witness to all these thoughts, emotions, feelings and desires." No Boundary, Ken Wilber pg. 129.